Unfettered

Highly unpopular and contentious opinion incoming. If you can't handle a simple opinion or are here to act like a self-righteous zealot, please leave now. This is not a place for proselytizing, attempts for conversion, threats, harassment, belittlement, and the like. Comments attempting any of these or intended to start needless drama and arguments WILL BE HIDDEN- regardless of who said comment was directed at. Think before you comment, please.

Every day, I wake up and live it up to the best of my ability. No, not the #YOLO and #SWAG kinds of idiocy. I mean 'live it up' as in enjoy and appreciate my life in its fullest. Bad days, sad things, infuriating episodes, and the like happens from time to time, but there's always a new dawn and a new day.

Back when I used to follow Christianity, I couldn't go a day without feeling paranoid (not that there's any better way to put it). I felt that God was watching my every move, monitoring my every thought (like the concept of Big Brother (not that mind-numbingly asinine reality show, mind you); as if the government isn't bad enough already with their drones and phone-tapping). Even the mere thought of anything 'mean' or 'bad' or remotely against the Bible and authorities' laws and rules crossing my mind put me in terror of going to Hell. One toe out of line. It was petrifying, the fear and the perception that someone was judging every moment of my life, watching and judging. You know that awful feeling that you're being followed everywhere, the feeling of the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end? That feeling. Eyes staring down coldly. Fear. Anxiety. Suppression. Emotional oppression. One wrong move and you and everyone you ever loved and cared about will suffer unspeakable things. That was how I felt all the time.

Maybe that's what kept me in line, kept me as a meek, goody-two-shoes doormat for everyone in my family and town to walk all over back then. Honestly, even though I have my fair share of problems to deal with now, I sure wouldn't paint those days as my happiest.

Ever since I deconverted from Christianity and taken on *Agnostic Theism as my 'belief system', I've never felt happier and freer. I understand fellow humans will never stop passing judgment on me (Hey, it's a two-way street. I do my fair share of snarky, even downright nasty judgment-passing on others myself from time to time.) or perhaps stare me down for something, but that's not even in the same league as the awful feeling that something omnipresent is stalking you 24/7/365 and is said to never cut you slack for the tiniest mistakes unless you grovel on your knees for forgiveness (and even then you don't know for sure if you're let off scot-free). It really is a damper on my spirit to live every day in petrifying fear of something/fates that I believe nobody knows for sure if it exists or not (and if it does, in what forms it may take on).

Quite frankly, I disagree with those that insist that you have to be part of some religion to be happy and 'free'. I can find happiness in myself and in the world around me, by myself. I don't need (organized) religion to be happy.

What good is a life lived in perpetual fear, anxiety, and paranoia of something that is probably uncertain anyway? Whatever happens in the end will happen. But then is not now. I believe in living with a free and happy life, whatever it may be. Impulsive. Heartfelt. Intense. Confident. Strong-willed.

Which leaves me with this old saying that a good friend has told me time and again, which I feel is relevant here-

Life isn't about the destination, it's about the journey. Live each day as if it were your last.

* My stamp and take on Agnostic Theism (in description).